Stronger Woman

The other day while driving I was scanning through radio stations when a line from a song I'd never heard before caught my attention. (Those of you who know me know it's the lyrics that make or break it for me). The song said, "From now on I'm gonna be the kind of woman I want my daughter to be."

Ooh, I thought, this oughta be a good one. So I stopped scanning, turned it up and prepared to be inspired. As a new mother, things like this really grab hold of me. So, you might ask, what kind of woman did the singer, who turned out to be Jewel, want her daughter to be? The chorus provided a resounding answer to that question:

I'm gonna love myself

More than anyone else
Believe in me
Even if someone can't see
The stronger woman in me

I'm gonna be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
Won't lose myself again
never, no
Cause theres a stronger woman
a stronger woman in me

Wow. I was so shocked and appalled I nearly threw up. And I was angry. Angry at the lie being fed to women in my generation. Angry for the little girls who grow up with this model of strength. What a recipe for a miserable life.

To love your self more than anyone else? I'm not sure I've met many people who have to try very hard to do that. To be your own best friend? Comes pretty natural to most of us. To never lose yourself? So many are on a quest to "find themselves." The worst thing that could happen would be for them to succeed.

You see, I've found that what many call strength is in reality nothing more than masked weakness. It's human nature, and therefore easy, to love ourselves above all, to seek our own good at any cost. But what's hard, what requires real strength, is to sacrifice yourself for someone else, to lose your life in order to live for something greater than you.

I, too, desire to be the kind of woman I want my daughter to be, but I've chosen not to fall for the counterfeit strength my culture would offer me. I've found a truer strength, and it comes in giving everything I am in serving my God, my husband and my daughter. Instead of striving to "never lose myself", I've chosen to believe that "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:39). This is real strength. This is real life.